I Didn’t let Depression & Weight-gain Break Me; I Made a Crown From My Blues.

Marriage.  Isn’t it a sweet word, a sweeter promise, and the sweetest dream? But again, when have all the sweetest dreams come true anyway? When dreams rub their thumb on your nose, you need to create a beautiful reality for yourself.

I am Ruchira Bhattacharya. I was one among the lakhs of regular girls in Kolkata you may or may not notice in a crowd. But I knew there was something noteworthy in me ever since I was a kid. Whether or not anyone noticed, I knew I had it in me. And so, like a gazillion starry-eyes girls of this city, I wanted to walk the ramp, be a model, and strike limelight. But God had other plans for me.

I grew out of my little dream as I completed school and college and stated trying out my hand in various fields. I worked in designing, in a corporate for a while, held exhibitions of my own art pieces, and then, in 2012, I took the plunge and tied to knot to start a new chapter of my life. A life full of love, or so I thought.

 My Marriage was a lot more complicated than what I would have wanted. The regular complications were soon replaced by severe mentally and physically abuse pushing me towards severe depression.

In this depression, I had completely lost myself. The mental agony has started to show in my appearance. I started to gain weight, the weighing scale just wouldn’t stop rising , crushing me from within.

To add to that, there were people who kept poking me with sly insults for my weight, made me feel like the lowest version of myself. Nothing of my self-esteem was left. But don’t they say, there is always a silver lining even on the darkest of cloud.

One day after years of depression a wonderful opportunity came knocking at my door. It was an opportunity for me to find myself, to live for myself, to live my dream that I had long forgotten.  I always wanted to be part of a Big Pageant show. And here it was – Ms.Plus Size India 2019. Specially for All sized women.

I couldn’t be happier and I couldn’t lose this opportunity. I went for the auditions with my fingers crossed and to my exhilaration, I was selected. From almost 2500 candidates 60 Finalists were chosen. The selected candidates were to get trained in Delhi from all over India and get groomed up for the Finale in there.

We had a grooming session for 5 days in Lalit Delhi that would train us on how to conquer the ramp and kill it at the photoshoots. These grooming sessions would start from 6 AM and continue till 1 AM. To say it was dead tiring would be an understatement. But, it was worth it.

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And, it was The Finale night. After the Questions Answer round, ethnic wear round, evening gown round, talent round I was crowned the 1st Runner up for Miss India Plus Size 2019. 1st time ever I got the limelight got the recognition that always evaded me. The feeling was beyond words and I was so satisfied and proud of myself for have never lost hope, and never giving up.

I know I am not alone in this. There are many women who are going through challenging times across the world. Who are being put down and have lost their confidence. As one woman who has been there and built a bridge with the stones life had to throw at me, I’d say, never ever allow yourself to lose yourself. You all are special, waiting to shine to your fullest. Stay positive.

I have turned into a new and positive person after being part of the pageant. Find your positivity in what makes you happy.

By Ruchira Bhattaharya

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